can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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