We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize
