i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
40s are totally the cure
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
