its not stalking. its research.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Randomize