remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
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