Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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