I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Randomize
