is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
