Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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