He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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