the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Randomize
