oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
