why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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