what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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