I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize
