That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Randomize