For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
