ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
