To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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