would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
