Got a toothbrush?
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
