What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Randomize
