I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
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