Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
