And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
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