you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Randomize
