there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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