My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize