so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
