Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
