So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I'm at about main and main street
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
