If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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