hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
