Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
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