you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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