WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Randomize
