have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
