I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
