i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Randomize
