When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
