It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
