I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
wanna go halves on a baby?
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
