they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Randomize
