how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Randomize
