Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
