Just fell off a train. Bad.
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
