garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
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