you would pick up someone in the library
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
