I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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