I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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