so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
I want her autograph on my taint
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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