Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
