rhymes with "ouble enetration"
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
