were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
i just made my gag reflex go away.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Randomize
