I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
