Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
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