It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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