your thong is hanging out like whoa
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
party gras won. party gras always wins.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
