im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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