you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
