winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
