Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Randomize
