so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Randomize
